Navigating Tough Conversations
By Ali Lalieu
February 2025
Brené Brown, renowned researcher and storyteller on vulnerability, courage, and leadership, introduces the concept of Rumble Language in her book Dare to Lead.
This framework provides a way to have tough conversations with openness, clarity, and curiosity.
But what exactly is Rumble Language, why is it useful? Let’s dive in.
What Is Rumble Language?
The term “rumble” refers to a discussion, conversation, or meeting where you lean into vulnerability and honesty, seeking understanding rather than defensiveness or blame.
It’s an intentional, uncomfortable conversation to work through the messy middle of problems, where the people involved commit to showing up non-judgementally, with an open heart, and a willingness to listen (in the same way they want to be heard).
Rumble language helps to safely surface the hard stuff; the conversations you really want to avoid (but then things remain unresolved, unspoken and have a tendency to fester!).
Rumble Language is a set of key sentence starters or ‘curiosity lead-ins’ designed to help you to better navigate these tough conversations with curiosity and emotional intelligence.
Some examples of Rumble Language include:
“The story I’m telling myself is…” (acknowledging personal assumptions or biases)
“I’m curious about…” (opening dialogue with genuine interest)
“Help me understand…” (seeking clarity without judgment)
“I’m wondering if…” (inviting alternative perspectives)
“Tell me more… (encouraging deeper conversation)
Rumble Language is helpful because communication is at the heart of strong relationships—whether in our workplaces, with our family, or in our friendships.
Rumble Language…
Encourages vulnerability and trust – allowing people to express their thoughts honestly without fear of judgment
Reduces defensiveness – by framing conversations with curiosity instead of judgement, it de-escalates conflict
Clarifies misunderstandings – instead of assuming intent, Rumble Language encourages asking and listening
Strengthens relationships – open, respectful discussions foster deeper connection
Improves leadership and teamwork – organizations that embrace Rumble Language cultivate cultures of psychological safety and innovation.
Like any skill, using Rumble Language effectively takes practice. Lots of practice! And it will feel awkward at the start!
Here’s are some ideas on ways you can start:
Self-Reflection – Before having a tough conversation, ask yourself honestly what assumptions or emotions you’re bringing to the discussion
Use Key Phrases – Incorporate phrases like “Help me understand…” or “I’m curious about…” in daily conversations (and see how people respond)
Listen Actively – Focus on understanding the other person’s perspective rather than preparing your response. Believe that what the other person is saying is their truth, even if you don’t agree with their perspective
Embrace Discomfort – Lean into vulnerability, instead of avoiding the conversation. “Clear is Kind”
Encourage Others – Model Rumble Language in your interactions and encourage others in your team to do the same.
You can build stronger relationships, navigate tough conversations with grace, and create environments where people around you will feel safe to share their thoughts and feelings.
Next time you find yourself in a tough conversation, try a Rumble phrase—you may be surprised at the quality of the conversation that follows.
Cheers Ali xo