Timidity Tax
By Ali Lalieu
April 2025
Today I arrived in Rome, by chance on the same day as Pope Francis’s funeral.
As millions tune into the service globally, world leaders are gathered to pay respects to a man who embodied humility and a deep respect for human life. A man who prioritised calling a parish in Gaza daily.
He cared. He was kind.
I pray that the cardinals electing the new pope will vote with humility and with courage.
With the World Uncertainty Index being so high, we need inspired leadership that breathes life into Integrity (“Doing what’s right over what’s fun, fast and easy. Living into values, not just professing them ~ Dr Brené Brown).
I recently read Dr Margie Warrell’s new book, The Courage Gap, in which she explains how her own experience working with senior leaders globally highlighted the deep need to help them to be braver in the decisions that they make; to risk push back, to do the right thing, and not just do what’s going to protect their power or position.
There is a gaping Courage Gap to be navigated and closed.
Warrell emphasizes that fear often creates a gap between what individuals know they should do and what they actually do.
Recognizing, naming and addressing these fears is crucial to closing this “Courage Gap.”
Fear creates the Courage Gap, and it takes courage to close the gap.
Timidity limits your ability to narrow this gap, so Warrell introduces the concept of the “Timidity Tax” ~ the insidious hidden cost incurred when you let fear and self-doubt prevent you from taking action.
This tax isn’t immediately obvious, but accumulates over time, manifesting as missed opportunities, unfulfilled potential, unresolved issues and lingering regrets.
She urges us to not “overlook the hidden “timidity tax” you pay when you let your fear of what could go wrong keep you from taking action to make things better”.
It’s time to Take the chance.
In your workplaces, be aware of the clues that tell you there’s a Timidity Tax accruing.
Gustavo Razetti reminds us that the signs of this tax (which he calls it Conversational Debt) are subtle but telling in all relationships:
Quick agreement without meaningful discussion
Real conversations happening after “official” discussions end (the meeting after the meeting)
The same issues resurfacing month after month
Zoom/Teams calls feel tense, but no one addresses why
Meetings or discussions that multiply without resolution
Yes, silence is not cheap, and it carries an expensive price tag.
As the cardinals gather in coming days to elect the next leader of the Catholic Church, I wish I could invite them to address any elements of Timidity Tax, and to reflect on these questions as they choose and decide:
What’s the cost — to them and others — of continuing to play it safe in their decision making?
Where might they be using “gathering more information” as a way to delay a courageous move?
If each person trusted themself fully, what decision would they already have made?
What story are they telling themself about what might happen if they are wrong — and how true is that story?
Who do they need to become to make the decisions they intuitively know are necessary, even if they’re uncomfortable?
And lastly, I would invite them to name their top 2 personal Values, and to live into them deeply as they go through their decision making process.
And I invite you to do the same as you recognise the price paid in the Timidity Tax and embark on closing your own Courage Gap in all aspects of your own life.
Cheers Ali xo