Silence Intelligence
By Ali Lalieu
September 2025
Leaders and managers regularly attend workshops to improve communication, handle conflict, give feedback, and grow as coaches.
An important question to ask is how much they are trained in Silence Intelligence.
Which I define as “The art and science of silent space where true connection happens, and people feel heard, seen and safe”.
In silence, you are able to not only listen to, but listen through.
Silence creates space for understanding to emerge. It helps us to hear the unsaid words, the emotional tone, the hesitancy, the depth and layers beneath surface responses.
In his book The Advice Trap, Michael Bungay Stanier writes:
“Generous silence provides space for the other person to be with their own self, for you to be with them, for presence to show up. It allows them to take a breath
Silence is not a void; it’s fertile ground for sensemaking and intuition.
Silence sends a message, “You have time. You’re not being rushed. I’m here to listen. You’re being heard”, which invites others to speak more vulnerably, reflect more deeply, and share truths they may not otherwise.
Silence isn’t just the absence of sound—it’s the presence of presence and attention. Rare behaviours in these days!
It opens up a space of awareness, with greater witnessing, noticing and observing.
This morning I listened to an interview where Dr Brené Brown speaks to Lulu Garcia-Navarro (New York Times) and she highlights the courage it takes to be a leader at this time in history.
Communication has never been more important than it is right now. Good communication is a skill, building trust and bringing people along.
In Brené ‘s words: “Good communication is vulnerable – you have to have a tolerance for discomfort if you want to communicate well & honestly”.
“A brave life is fifteen hard conversations a day”.
And through these conversations, our capacity for silence will influence our capacity to really understand the issue at hand, how people are feeling, the moments of critical decision making, the impact of decisions.
Our capacity for silence will help us to ‘ground the ball’, to pause, reflect and make a considered choice about what to do next.
The futurist, Jamais Cascio, reminds us that in a BANI world, our capacity for Intuition will be increasingly sought after as things become ever more incomprehensible.
Developing our Silence Intelligence is a great place to start.
Ali xo