A blog by Ali Lalieu
November 2026
What if the greatest obstacle to courageous leadership isn't what you don't know, but what you believe to be true?
Imagine two leaders sitting in the same meeting.
Both hear a colleague challenge a decision.
The first leader thinks, "They're questioning my competence" and becomes defensive, justifying their position, and preparing a response rather than listening.
The second leader thinks, "They're seeing something I might be missing", so they lean in, get curious about another perspective, and ask more questions, listening to the response.
Same meeting. Same words. Two entirely different experiences with different outcomes.
So what’s the difference? Mental Models.
Across every team in an organisation, these invisible Mental Models are quietly moulding the words people choose, the conversations they have, the decisions they make, and the cultures they shape.
You don't see the world as it is. You see it through your Mental models.
Mental Models are the deeply held assumptions, beliefs, stories and expectations through which you interpret the world. Shaped by your upbringing, culture, experiences, education, relationships and the environments in which you’ve experienced life.
Over time, Mental Models become the invisible operating system of your thinking.
You’ve developed beliefs about what makes a good leader, what it means to be successful, whether conflict is safe, how trust is built, and what happens when you admit you don't know.
Some of these beliefs will serve you; and others will quietly and at times, powerfully, limit you.
Consider some of the Mental Models that might be operating beneath the surface of everyday leadership, and when you’re under pressure, understand they can become more rigid:
A strong leader must always have the answers.
If I show vulnerability, people will lose confidence in me.
Disagreement means someone is against me.
Asking for help is a sign of weakness and makes me look incompetent.
My busy-ness means I am valuable.
If I don't control the process, something will go wrong.
Feedback is a judgement about my worth.
If I want something done properly, I’ll need to do it myself.
Emotions don’t belong in a workplace.
Difficult conversations damage relationships.
These beliefs can feel like facts.
But they’re not facts ~ they’re interpretations you’ve practised so often that you’ve stopped questioning them.
Most times, these Mental Models operate beneath your conscious awareness.
You believe you’re leading courageously while unconsciously protecting yourself through control, perfectionism, avoidance or the need to be right.
And when you stop questioning your Mental Models, you risk becoming a prisoner of your own thinking.
A core strength of courageous leadership is the ability to name, explore and challenge your own Mental Models.
Here are some coaching questions to help you:
What belief about leadership am I holding as truth that may no longer be serving me?
How clearly can I name the Mental Model getting in my way here? When does this Mental Model show up in my leadership?
Whose expectations, voices or past experiences have shaped this Mental Model, and how well is it serving me today?
What fear, need or assumption sits underneath this belief?
What evidence might suggest this belief isn't always true?
What am I protecting myself from when I cling tightly to this belief?
What would become possible for me and those I lead if I loosened my grip on this belief?
Where might my need to be right, in control or certain, be getting in the way of curiosity, learning and connection?
What potential within me is asking for greater expression?
Who am I becoming when I lead from this Mental Model, and who do I want to become instead?
The Mental Models that once helped you feel safe may now be the very things preventing you from leading courageously.
Perhaps the deepest work of leadership is not becoming someone different, but creating the conditions for self-awareness to flourish, to become more fully who we already have the potential to be.
Cheers
Ali x