Courageous Conversations
By Ali Lalieu
July 2025
In today’s BANI environment, fast-paced, high-pressure work environments, avoiding uncomfortable truths can feel like the safer choice.
Researcher Gustavo Razzetti reminds us, “safety doesn’t come from silence—it comes from trust, candour, and courage.”
Courageous conversations are not a “nice to have.”
They’re the foundation of cultures where people feel seen, psychologically safe, and empowered to do their best work.
As Gustavo Razzetti says, “We don’t need to fix people. We need to fix how people talk to each other.”
When we avoid tough conversations, we’re not protecting relationships—we’re weakening them. And weakening our culture.
If your team is struggling with a lack of accountability, avoidance, scepticism, sarcasm, blaming and other self-defensive behaviours, what you may really be missing is people’s willingness to lean into the vulnerability of having more courageous conversations.
Courageous conversations go beyond performance feedback or conflict resolution.
They’re the conversations we don’t want to have but need to—the ones where power dynamics, emotions, risk and uncertainty are all in the mix.
Research suggests high performing teams get to be high performing because they have robust debates without risking social connection.
Gustavo Razzetti describes courageous conversations as the “organizational culture change muscle”.
Teams that build this muscle develop psychological safety, the ability to take interpersonal risks without fear of punishment or humiliation.
Without this kind of safety, innovation and accountability wither.
Dr Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead ™ research highlighted that avoiding tough conversations is the second highest barrier to courage in organizations.
She teaches a language skill set called the ‘Rumble’ to help people lean into vulnerability, and have that tough conversation they’ve been putting off.
A rumble is defined as “a discussion, conversation, or meeting defined by a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to stay curious and generous, and to stick with the messy middle of problem identification; and to listen with the same passion with which you want to be heard”.
She warns about the “armor” we wear to avoid discomfort in conversations—like perfectionism, defensiveness, or the need to always be right.
When we use this armor, we protect our egos but disconnect from our teams.
Dr Brown calls this the ‘price of invulnerability’. Gustavo Razetti calls it a ‘Hidden Tax’.
We may avoid temporary discomfort, but we sacrifice authenticity, belonging, and trust; and the real cost when no-one speaks up is a culture where nothing changes, and people quietly disengage.
In a time of volatility and change, courageous conversations help teams to:
Resolve tension before it calcifies into conflict
Hold each other accountable in a clear and kind, respectful way
Create clarity when uncertainty reigns
Foster innovation by surfacing diverse perspectives
Build resilience and mutual respect
Gustavo Razzetti and Brené Brown both agree that Curiosity is your superpower in courageous conversations.
When you’re curious, you’re open. You’re exploring, less judgemental and that’s what makes courageous conversations transformational.
To help your team develop the muscle for courageous conversations:
Name the Armor: In team reflections, name the ways you might be avoiding tough conversations (e.g., “We sugarcoat feedback” or “We avoid calling out misalignment” or “We agree in the meeting and disagree after” or “We don’t follow up and hold people accountable”).
Normalize the Rumble: Print a copy of Brené Brown’s “Rumble Starters” to remind people to practice them in team meetings—e.g., “The story I’m telling myself is…” or “I’m wondering if…”
Practice Psychological Safety: Leaders must role model the language they want to see in teams across the culture
Identify as a team what conversations you’re avoiding
Skill up in facilitating a Team Story Rumble.
Growing a culture where courageous conversations are prioritised and valued is effortful, and requires Psychological Safety as a foundation.
It involves building ‘safety signals’ for courageous conversations at an individual and a team level, with leaders role modelling at every opportunity.
Ali xo
PS. Whenever you’re reday here are a couple of ways I can help you right now: