Above / Below the line
By Ali Lalieu
November 2025
Above or Below the Line? The Choice that Shapes Culture
In daring cultures, leadership isn’t about titles — it’s about how people show up.
Dr Brené Brown reminds us that courage and vulnerability are inseparable. The “Above / Below the Line” metaphor gives us a powerful lens:
Above the line is open, curious, and accountable.
Below the line is defensive, blaming, and reactive.
And in her recent book, Strong Ground, Brené reminds us that the line is ‘fear’!
It’s not about being perfect — it’s about being aware of where you are, and choosing to respond to a situation with intention, rather than just react from impulse.
It’s about recognising whether you’re driving with awareness, or unknowingly acting from a place of fear.
Strong Ground: The Practice of Self-Awareness
When you find yourself operating from a place of ‘Strong Ground’, you’ll be aware that you’re noticing your emotions before they drive your behaviour.
A daring leader might pause mid-meeting and say,
“I can feel myself getting defensive — let me take a breath before I respond.”
“I can see that this decision of mine is hard to hear – let’s pause and take a moment to hear how you’re receiving it.”
That simple act builds trust. It signals that emotional intelligence isn’t a soft skill — it’s your ability to be smarter with your feelings.
Accountability and Trust in Action
Above-the-line leaders own their impact. They replace blame with curiosity:
“What’s mine to own here?”
“How might I have contributed to this outcome?”
Teams learn that accountability is not punishment — it’s a path to growth.
And trust deepens when feedback becomes a shared act of courage, not criticism.
Feedback: A Mirror, Not a Weapon
Feedback flourishes above the line.
Instead of “You’re wrong,” we hear, “Here’s what I noticed — what’s your perspective?”
Instead of “What were you thinking,” we hear, “That’s not my perspective. Tell me more…”
The shift is subtle but transformational. It turns fear into dialogue, and tension into learning.
Brené says that when she hears herself say something close to one of the following, she knows she’s got a below-the-line problem:
I’ll do it myself
I’m on my own
Nobody gets it
It’s harder on me than it is on most people
I care more
I don’t give a shit whether you like me or not
I’ll be the bad guy. I don’t care.
The Courageous Choice
Words have worlds!
Every conversation is an invitation to check in with yourself: Am I above or below the line?
The most courageous cultures are not free from conflict or pockets of toxicity — they are grounded in a commitment to curiosity, honesty, empathy, accountability and learning.
That’s the work of daring leadership: noticing when you’ve slipped below the line, owning it, and choosing—again—to rise.
Recognising the patterns, triggers (and situations) that send you below-the-line and developing some alternative skills.
Cheers Ali xo